A huge decision needs to be made tonight; perhaps maybe I can waiver my options till tomorrow. I love you, I love you not. I am too scared to fall apart at this time of year. You know how I’m feeling, I’m sure; I still think you’re not real. You’re too sweet, over-the-top loving… I should feel blessed, but to be honest it scares the sh*t out of me. Pardon my harsh language, but I really do feel that way. I must decide immediately whether I will allow myself to be loved or not. Will we ever see each other? I’m still not sure. You confuse me endlessly, dearest. What should I do, tell me? I have never even seen you… it’s a one way communication, it’s not fair… and deep down I think you know it. You’d think that I’m playing along, but I’m not. I’m starting to put too much feelings in it. My heart beats for you now. True. So, will you stay? I still have an awful thought of you gone missing as usual.

I miss you, tho. So in the end, I’m gonna resort to the chorus of The Format’s Inches and Failing. Truly. Please heart me tonight, deary.

I love love
I love being in love
I don’t care what it does to me
These pills are fine to pass the time ’til I find my new drug
Then, We’ll take our chances,
We’ll last a month, We’ll never speak again
How I love being in love

I’ve been living in Malaysia for almost four years; studying, making friends, living my life to the fullest, while staying true to my native Indonesian self -sharing, promoting cultures, peace-keeping. I have made wonderful Malaysian friends and acquaintances. Lovely, indeed. For the past four weeks, I have been spending my extended holiday (unemployement brings bulletproof boredom, I tell you) in my hometown; Jakarta, Indonesia, and all I see in the news is hatred towards Malaysia; not just any particular Malaysians, but the whole nation intact. What gives? Pendet, one of Indonesia’s treasured traditional dance so the Indonesian media said “has been claimed by the Malaysians”. The first time I watched the news, I laughed. I laughed real hard; LMFAO, really. The news have become more and more similar to “Infotainment”, glorifying dramas; what Indonesians have been craving for since the past years or so. The “Claimed Pendet Dance” was an image included in a promotional documentation about Malaysia for a spot on the Discovery Channel, not a tourism campaign, my dearests. The one who did the motion must have used stock-image, after a night out of heavy drinking (pardon my ridicule, but it was fatal). Is he/she fired yet for causing this big of a havoc? Hmm. (Oh, I so want to laugh again and again and again).

That same afternoon, MetroTV aired a discussion on this matter, with an intro of a young Pendet Dancer performing her ability, live. I hated it. Why? Because although she said to have been dancing for 12 years, she did not do the dance any justice. Maybe it was not her, maybe it was the cameraman who did not do a great shot on the originally graceful dance. I still could not get over the fact that her makeup was beyond awful. Why am I prissy about these details? Because, we, Indonesians, who are enraged at Malaysians at that time for stealing our precious culture, could not manage to present the most beautiful parts of our own. I could not care less about what they call “Malaysians stealing our cultures”, we haven’t yet do much justice on what we have claimed to be ours.

Terang Bulan; ah… the Indonesian composition that became the National Anthem of Malaysia. The sad part of it? I know more about the Malaysian version more than the Indonesian one. I am very sorry, but throughout my school days, twelve years in Indonesia, I have never had anyone teach me that song. The Malaysians have sung their national anthems for decades; why bother to bring this up now? Where were we at the time they first used the melodies? I’m sure things were much more peaceful back then. Drama, glorified, part 2.

What got me going on writing this note, finally, was this; the image of middle/high school students around Indonesia screaming hatred towards Malaysia; mouthing bad words, writing awful sayings on the panels and posters they are sporting, while others burned drawing of Malaysian flag and stomped on them to shreds. WHAT HAVE THEY LEARNED IN SCHOOL? WHAT ARE WE, INDONESIANS, TEACHING IN OUR EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTES? WHAT, EXACTLY, WHAT? Drama, glorified, part 3.

Although some people (maybe most) argue that the government and politics have much to do about this matter, I would like to keep that aside my dearests. Individuals give much more power via the internet nowadays; FB status, note (the medium which I am using right now), blogs, Twitter, and so on. Most of my colleagues and fellow Indonesians are pissed at Malaysia; very f*ckin pissed. Yet, they rather go watch “sinetron” (Indonesian teledrama/soap opera) Isabela or any others that are Malaysian-rooted and listen to trending pop/rock music bands which ironically sound truly similar with old “rock-kangkang-Melayu” bands, than to go to art/cultural centers and see traditional dances and plays.

How many of you Indonesians fall asleep or giggle with friends while listening to our own National Anthem “Indonesia Raya”? Do you still memorize Pancasila? Do you pay proper taxes, because I’m sure you get most of your gadgets from black market (insert laughing emoticon here)? These questions can go on and on until we Indonesians realize that we have not put our whole hearts into our motherland Indonesia just enough to make her proud. Our foundingfathers (rest in peace) would be rolling on their graves knowing this matter.

I was blessed with a chance, not too long ago, to visit Rinca and Komodo Island (breathtaking beauties, I tell you); which has been endlessly promoted as the next big thing; new 7 wonders of nature. Even so, with all the campaigns Indonesians involved have been working on, I must ask this; Would you rather save money and plan your next trip to Europe or gladly visit beautiful places in your own country and actually contribute to our dear tourism that frankly isn’t rocketing anywhere? I saw NO local tourists there. None. Sniff. Sob.

Finally, my last passage, I can only hope for the best and awakening within Indonesians. Instead of putting so much energy on hating the so-called-enemy, why not use it to make ourselves better Indonesians and surely make Indonesia a better place to live in? People, around the world, regardless of countries of origin, races and cultural backgrounds can see through us. Would they come and visit us if we keep our pace of being such violent dramatic beings? Indonesia’s tourism is doomed even when no-one is stealing from it.

As a colleague of mine stated it “Malaysians did not steal anything… they merely take what we don’t care about.”

Update: I forgot to mention that we saw a dolphin jumping off the sea surface. SERIOUSLY! It was 10m away; urgh, but we got a sneak peek of the second jump. I heart you! Sadly, it was instant ~no times for pics.

My biggest utmost superb holiday this year; marking my graduation as a Bachelor Degree (WOOP! WOOP! *cough*hireme*cough*). I went on a 3days-2nights trip around Komodo Island with me mumsy, lil bro, and the whole 5 members of my aunt’s family from Paris. Kkkkraaazzzeeeyyy! These nasi-ayamgoreng-sambal-loving foreigners are so dear to my heart, and Indonesia’s heart for that matter.

Monday: took a 50mins flight from Denpasar to Labuan Bajo, Flores with a Pelita Fokker. It wasn’t an easy ride; turbulence kicked in. Nevertheless, I could already define my destination; loads of backpackers spotted. No local tourists, really?

From the airport, we headed straight to the port, with an “angkot (public transport that looks like this)” named “mantab (A-OK)”. LOLs. I instantly felt healthier; the air I breathe was much cleaner, the sky was bright as heck, and the breeze… oh the breeze, my LORD! We catched up with the boat crew; the ones who are gonna spend the next two days with us. By the way, the name of the boat was “Syahrul KLM”.

It took us 2 hours to get to our first destination, which was Rinca Island. We had a lunch on the way. On the menu; fresh fishies sauteed with tomatoes/onions, fried noodles, rice (of cooouuuurrseee!) and mix veggies. All fresh, all nice; I was starving, really. Anyhoo… by the time we reached Rinca Island it was already 2pm. My first thought was; why does it look sooo dry? Where are the greenies?

Stepped off the boat, we walked… walked… and walked through the path till we reached to the sign below.

I swear to God, they looked harmless to me at that time… but remembering that they can run 18km/hr up to 20km/hr (the average human) I felt instant anxiety. They are fed well once in a month, a group of four can finish off a huge wild-buffalo; leaving no traces. Well, they love rotten ones, really.

I can’t imagine living in a home where a swarm of Komodo are chillin’ underneath. They were just sunbathing, checking out them girls cuz it’s mating season. Just the perfect time to spot flirtacious Komodos. LOL.

Entering the park, we crossed-path with a wild buffalo. He had the most gentle eyes I have ever seen in a wild animal, honestly, he looked at us for a second or two, moved forward a bit, and decided that he would take the path offroad. The 10 of us (us 8 plus 2 guides) said “Thank you! Merci! Terima kasih!” and guess what… he nodded! I swear I saw a hint of smile as well.

Above: Mommy Komodo is digging a well to lay eggs on. The eggs are kept safe underneath for 9months. The kids are left alone after they were born; no parenting necessary. Cannibalism rise on the first 3 months of their lives; and they are cool and yellowish.

Komodo mating; priceless. It can take up to 1.30hr NON-STOP. We were forming a circle around this guy and he kept minding his business; going on and on for the whole 20mins. Right up till he changed position to 69. Beat that! I kinda felt bad for the girlie, the guy stepped on her head a few times, or was that a part of caressing? Curious. Well he went back to the old position afterwards… and there he went up till we left him alone. I’m sure he needed the privacy afterall.

Good grief, the only way to go was up… up… and up. The view was worth it. Very well worth it.

Ah… the sun was setting in beautifully. A refreshing view for someone who’s been living in the city for most of her life. Speechless.

Good night, everyone. Bonus of the day; the stars were shining very very very very very brightly, the most beautiful sky I’ve seen since google image search LOL. The moon was crescent. Bonus of the day? Me and my lil bro saw a shooting star. Oh yes, we made a wish.

Sweetness prevailed in the past week; wonderful moments I must say. I am sun-kissed. LOL, I won’t say I’m burn, I really am not. Really. My skin’s 3 tones darker (I had to buy a new color-foundation oh bummer) thankfully not hurtful. I AM THE HAPPIEST GRADUATE EVER. Ha! Here goes whatnot.

Background >> Me mumsy insisted that I go home on the 20th (Monday), because she was sure (VERY sure) that we’d fly to Denpasar from Jakarta, and then straight to Labuan Bajo (for the Komodo Island trip) the next day. WRONG! The Komodo Island trip got postponed due to an issue faced by my French cousin; visa and such. ARGH! I missed a job interview… and a huge chance to meet up with YOU! Double dammit, I say. BUT- Mumsy felt kinda bad for the mixed-up schedule, plus she’s pretty proud that I got an interview offer out of nowhere, so she let me fly to Denpasar, Bali earlier than the rest of the family. Cool beans, huh?

Thursday, July 26.
My dreamiest vacation; visit Toshi in Bali! Woop! Woop! My last Bali getaway was in 2006, an it was AWESOME. Funny as heck, I went to Bali for a week at that time the day after me and PB officiated our whatsocalled relationship. Too funny >> and this year my getaway is to heal every wounds and scars created (or unhealed old ones) this past semester. It was pretty gloomy when I arrived at Ngurah Rai airport, turbulence kicked in pretty harsh on LionAir. Scary stuff, but oh well. Toshi and his beau, Pras (this is the first time I’ve ever met him) picked me up. Greeted me well, and off we go to her place. Denpasar felt like Bandung to me, it was pretty windy and green… no sun! Still… I heart it so much. To be there at that time, I wouldn’t wanna trade place with ANYone.
First night dinner was at Warung Subak; I had grilled-fish, clams and squids. YUMM. Really, YUMM!

Friday/Saturday.
Pillow talk. Sleep over. Slumber party. Pillow talk. Gossips. Warung Pasundan. Find a hotel around Sanur. Besakih Beach Hotel. A short stroll. More gossips. Sharing stuff. Craziness. Madness. Tired. Lovely afternoon. Ubud. Even lovelier night. Casa Luna and such. Chocolate delight. Comfort food. Dearest dears. Have a right mind, will ya? Nasi Ayam Sayan. Goodness. Greatness. Arrghh! Delisssshhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Sunday.
Me and Toshi checked in early so we could dip in the pool before my family (Mumsy, K9, The Bouchets 5) came in. Off to the pool we go! A very nice view indeed dear, the pool was almost an “infinity pool”. It’s right by the beach, lovey huh? The sun was shining pretty brightly it got me a slight tan line. YEAH! Just what I was hoping for. My family arrived at 5ish; I had to say goodbye to Toshi and let her spend the rest of the weekend with her beau. Pretty envious… newlywed love.
Eight of us went on a night-stroll along Sanur Beach, went past Batujimbar. Me, mumsy and Aunt/Uncle went to have a dessert at Cafe Batujimbar, lovely place, loves it! Although, I was dissappointed to find that my most fave Apple Crumble was sold out. URGH!
Bonus of the day: Wino texted me, he was in Denpasar! Thank God! Good old friend, indeed. He picked me up at the hotel, we drove around Kuta and such and ended up in a restaurant eating a super-delish roasted duck while sharing insanity throughout our years of not seeing each other. Awesomeness!

Can I please continue this in 3 hours? I wanna take a nap. Danke! Smoochies!

In general:

I am best fit with jobs such as; Corporate Executive Officer; Organization Builder, Entrepreneur, Computer Consultant, Lawyer, Judge, Business Administrators and Managers, University Professors and Administrators. No designer? Really? LOL.

Additionally, according to Keirsey, I’m a Fieldmarshall. Hardly more than two percent of the total population, Fieldmarshals are bound to lead others, and from an early age they can be observed taking command of groups. They cannot not build organizations, and cannot not push to implement their goals. When in charge of an organization, whether in the military, business, education, or government, Fieldmarshals more than any other type desire (and generally have the ability) to visualize where the organization is going, and they seem able to communicate that vision to others. Fieldmarshals will usually rise to positions of responsibility and enjoy being executives. They are tireless in their devotion to their jobs and can easily block out other areas of life for the sake of their work. Although Fieldmarshals are tolerant of established procedures, they can and will abandon any procedure when it can be shown to be ineffective in accomplishing its goal. Fieldmarshals root out and reject ineffectiveness and inefficiency, and are impatient with repetition of error.

Hmm. I’d have a boring life fulfilled with rivals/enemies. Oh well.

Hillary Clinton, Napoleon, Margaret Thatcher, Carl Sagan, Bill Gates, Golda Meir, Edward Teller, George Benard Shaw, and General George C. Marshall are examples of Rational Fieldmarshals.

What’s more interesting is actually the following passage describing the romance of Fielmarshall women. In high school, she had lots of friends but few dates. In college, she found it easier to find dates. Her friends told her she was bossy and intimidating. It frustrated her that what worked well in her career wasn’t good in romance. Then she met a man who actively pursued her. At first she wasn’t interested because she thought he was a light weight. As she got to know him, she valued his ability to understand her thinking and bring out her sentimental side. Hahaha, yeah beat that!

~Cheerios! What’s YOUR personality? If you’re INTP (The Thinker) or ISTP (The Mechanic), call me. We’re meant to be.

I’m going back to Jakarta on MONDAY! YEAY! I can’t wait to go to Pulau Komodo on Tuesday! Snorkelling! Diving! Tanning! ARRRGHH!!! CAN NOT WAIT.

I wan’t you guys to drool with me. Click here.